[wp-forums] Heads up, people

[esmi at quirm dot net]

This is probably moot now but I thought I'd follow it up as a discussion 
(if needed) might help in future similar situations

on 20/09/2012 18:01 Andrea Rennick said the following:

>> Apologies for those who cannot see deleted posts but after being
>> lightly reprimanded, he continued to attempt to defend his remarks in
>> the above topic - posting exactly the same reply 14 times over 4 days."

> Maybe this bit can be pointed out to the other user. ;) If they honestly
> have no knowledge of the whys, then it;s reasonable to expect they are
> confused.
> Gently pointing out the case where the user was acting not-nice usually
> stops the protest.

Personally, I'm not sure that's appropriate. What happened was between 
the mods and the original poster. Whilst I have no problem with someone 
making a d*ck of themselves publically, I wouldn't want to do that for 
them by going into details when responding to to a possible third party. 
We all know that content from the forums gets everywhere and I don't 
want to be responsible for possibly humiliating someone in public when 
they have no recourse to explaining their side.

Does that make sense?

Added to that, if these two do work together (and that has been 
implied), why didn't one of them ask the other what happened? Why force 
this into a public arena? That just makes me downright uncomfortable 
right from the start and, cynic that I am, makes me wonder if there's 
another hidden agenda. I don't like hidden agendas myself...

Finally, many (*many*) years ago, someone taught me a very important 
golden rule - the 'net ain't a democracy.

At the end of every site and every resource, is someone who is paying 
the bill. S/he has the ultimate of saying who does (or who doesn't) have 
the right to access that resource - either directly or via those they 
have deputised to look after the resource for them. Doesn't mean that 
anyone has to rule with an iron hand but it does mean that, sometimes, 
decisions will be taken that you - as an average user - cannot control. 
That's just Life. If you don't like it, go someplace more suited to you 
instead. No one will mind or be offended, so why bother railing against 
something you can't change?

IMO, only an absolute *idiot* takes mods on in an head-on argument - 
whether it's here or somewhere else. Ask questions by all means but if 
all you get back is the party line - take the hint and drop the subject. 
IME, those who don't and who try to force the subject aren't really 
after an explanation at all in 9 out of 10 cases. No matter what you 
say, they'll argue against it. They've paid their money and now they'll 
have the 15 minute argument, please [1].

As when you're dealing with kids, the only way to deal with it is to not 
get drawn into any arguments. Just close it down, draw a line under it 
and move on.

Mel

[1] Gratuitous Monty Python reference
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